I Hate Durians!

King of Fruits my ass! I don't know who bobbed up with that moniker, but seriously, I met many mortals who disfavor the fruit. It shouldn't even be called a fruit! Elephant droppings sound better. Maybe there's a reason why it's thorny, so that no one opens it. But, humans, inquisitive as always, repugned the laws of nature. I started this post because some crumby boob smuggled in durians to the office yesterday. You could smell the malodor - all 7700 sq ft of it, a foul-smelling odour contaminated the atmosphere.

The aroma - best described as pig-shit, effluent and onions, garnished with a gym sock. Thank God that durians are prohibited from establishments such as hotels, subways and airports.

It also famously appeared on Fear Factor - as an ingredient to a blended concoction of pig-brains, rooster testicles and cow eyes. I would rather eat fried cockroach than durians. If I was the contestant on Fear Factor, I would've chuck up the sponge. "Look, testicles and eyes are okay, but durians? No way, that's out of order!", and storm out of the place.

Apparently, in Thailand and Indonesia, durian-flavored condoms used to be sold at 7-Eleven. WTF?

Durians have also caused a terror alert. Oh how I wished that guns are legalized in Malaysia, so I could go around popping people eating durians. I'd be martyrized. St Daniel - The Durian Adversary - though I think some unhappy Catholic Christians may form a new Protestant denomination, the Assembly of Durians. LOL!